The best thing about today was I realized why we are so unhappy

You may be wondering like I am – what is morally right about this economy?

For example my parents were the epitome of financial self reliance. They were frugal, well cheap, they saved, they didn’t waste and paid all their bills. What they sacrificed was deep and sad. They were conflicted people, who wanted to enjoy the fruits of being good but instead became stuck in the hazy world of long hours of alcohol consumption. My parents are functional alcoholics who did everything right according to our economic gods, but were miserable in their lives.

My mom did the right thing and stayed at home mostly with six of us. It was a terrible life for her, 10 pregnancies, four miscarriages and a profoundly disabled child, Sally Ann, who died at five in an institution. Mom never got to college but she wrote all my Dads major papers for his degrees, a BA in teaching PE and an MA in counseling. She was a writer intermittently but kept falling back into her pattern of doing the right thing and that fed her addiction. She was not happy and died suddenly of what I believe was an alcohol induced aneurysm.

My Dad is the super miserly saver guy who has more money than he can spend in good conscience now. Instead of enjoying his life since my mom has passed he has ended up supporting two of my brothers who are addicted to crack. He can save money but is mired in his own alcoholism and co-dependency with adult children.

They did everything right, got married, worked hard, had a big family, went to church, saved, but it didn’t get them the one thing that we all need to really live. Happiness.

That is why I do everything wrong. I want to be happy don’t you?

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